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and while all of that is true, there were deeper truths that I wasn't really ready to face for a long time. Being abandoned in the midst of a personal tragedy made me feel like the ultimate loser. And the time that I spent staring at myself helped me to figure out that out of all the self-talk that I give to myself, the one thing that I didn't do enough was to affirm myself. Once again, I'm stronger than I thought I could be.

These same people won’t sign up for online dating, won’t hire a match-maker, and the common phrase I hear from lazy daters is, “I’m waiting on God,” or, “I’m single by choice.” What does that really mean? The honorable definition is when a person is taking time to grow themselves, vs. They are doing the work before they get involved with someone else. A lazy dater doesn’t always realize that they are lazy as hell. Same thing occurs when people work so hard to reach superficial goals, but shy away from the goals that actually hold substance. Now, like all things humans touch, it’s new, improved, shiny, and “better”! Well, here’s a small list: There’s a term I became familiar with very early on. and starts jumping up and down waving her arms.“FML, it her! OK, when you use adjectives like “Slender”, “Athletic”, “Petite”, etc., you are painting a fair and objective picture about yourself; truly not subject to interpretation. Let’s optimize and improve on time honored tradition by throwing as many people as we possibly can at someone! Not…When I wrote my last Life After Loss article I’d already spent almost a solid year “single”, and a cool 7 months since I’d had any contact with my ex. So I spent quite some time over the fall and winter just really trying to work on myself.This time, it is two years of dating the love of my life. But in private, I was still in pain, still heartbroken. I blamed breast cancer for everything wrong in my life. When it comes to the relationship I was in when I was diagnosed, now that many years have passed I can see that we were never meant to get to "happy ever after". Because I felt that I was broken (thanks to breast cancer), I didn't think I would ever find love or be worthy of love. I learned to look at myself, naked and alone and say "I'm sorry that you've been through so much. You are absolutely beautiful and capable and worthy." Once I learned to do that and feel the love flowing from myself back to myself... Two years into this relationship and I think my guy is great.

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